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I was searching for a picture for a post called A Child of Mine which is a poem by Edgar Guest.

This is the picture I found which was taken by Crystal Theresa Zapanta. Here is how she describes herself in the posting on a site called still life 365:

I live in San Francisco and am married to my best friend and high school sweetheart, Louie. We will be celebrating 12 years together in May. We do not have any living children, but have been blessed with three precious and deeply missed babies: Calvin Phoenix (lost at 18 weeks, March 5, 2009), Rainbow (lost at 7 weeks, December 10, 2009), and Gaelen (lost at 6 weeks, March 15, 2011).

Here is what she has to say about her picture:

After I lost my first baby, my son, Calvin Phoenix, people’s well-intentioned wishes for me to “become a parent someday” were extremely hurtful and made me feel very conflicted. I spent my first Mother’s Day, two months after this loss, writing names and these two messages on the beach. These photos and statements in the sand were my way of asserting that I am still a mother, even if my baby did not live. – Crystal

If you have a moment please drop by the still life website for a visit. it is an amazing stop along the way. It is written by average people living through some extraordinary suffering and pain.


From still life 365

2 Responses to “I Gave my Child to God”

  1. Olivia says:

    A visit to the “still life 365” website is a very humbling experience. The internet is being used there to help parents grieve the loss of their child and to connect with others to express their feelings on a subject that didn’t used to be discussed. I expect this provides an opportunity to move toward healing.

    Thanks for making us aware of the website.

  2. deaconmike says:

    Yes i think this is place of refugee for those grieving a very special kind of loss. Many who have never experienced this can be too quick to dismiss that the loss of a child to in this manner is as real and as painful as the passing of any of our loved ones.